Ben has decided that he wants to die. This son of mine, who lives with a trust I aspire to....he believes in heaven, and can't wait to get there. Why do I find this disturbing? I've watched friends hold onto life with a white-knuckled grip, desperate for healing to come here on earth, grasping for … Continue reading Ready to Party
Life With Ben
Listening for Ice Cream
My son Ben has significant intellectual disabilities. As a result, he has a very small vocabulary consisting of only nouns and verbs. If I say, "Do you want ice cream?" He'll respond with enthusiasm. And if I say, "Do you never want ice cream again?" I'll get the same response. He hears "ice cream", and … Continue reading Listening for Ice Cream
Flight
A Great Blue Heron has been perching at the end of our dock lately, so I decided to try to get close enough for a picture. He kept a wary eye on me as I crept closer, finally taking off with his long wings as Ben came clumping down to join me in his dad's big … Continue reading Flight
Conquering the Frog
We took a little getaway recently, just me, my husband and our 28 year old son who has intellectual disabilities. We had planned some fun activities, but from the moment Ben spotted the kiddie pool, it was all he could think about. “Wog” he said, making the sign for “frog” under his chin, “Me!” And … Continue reading Conquering the Frog
If Not For Ben
If not for Ben... I might have continued my education. If not for Ben, I might have become a missionary, a counselor or a linguist. If not for Ben, I might have had opportunities to lead, to influence, or perhaps just to enjoy an easier life. In many ways, Ben has determined the course of … Continue reading If Not For Ben
A Special Birthday
Last weekend marked the beginning of Ben's 28th year on this earth. Although he has accumulated the years of a man, his heart and understanding are that of a small child. Ben's calendar is simple: Starting on December 26, he starts anticipating his birthday. And on June 28th, he begins to eagerly anticipate Christmas. Every … Continue reading A Special Birthday
The Gifted
Sometimes God's gifts come wrapped in grief. When you find yourself blindsided and reeling, you find that you have been issued an invitation into a raw intimacy with a God you never expected. John 9 tells the story of Jesus healing a blind man. "Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born … Continue reading The Gifted
Stacking Legos
In addition to Down Syndrome, my son Ben has Autism. Part of what comes with that is a delight in making patterns. His favorite activity while watching tv is to make a pattern tower with his Legos. He does this by continuously removing the bottom row and putting it on top. This creates a perpetual … Continue reading Stacking Legos
A Kiss
Our son Ben has Down Syndrome, Autism and is nonverbal. He is a 3-year old in a man's body. This past year he insisted that I play the theme for his favorite pro wrestler while he struts out to the bus in the mornings. In order to look as cool as possible, he sports a … Continue reading A Kiss
A Baptism
He stands on the shore of Prairie Lake, swinging his arms and jumping up and down like Michael Phelps preparing to break another world record. It is a rainy, chilly day but he doesn't seem to notice as he rushes down the hill into the cold water to stand with our pastor. His people cheer … Continue reading A Baptism
