It was Tall Timber Days in our town here in the Minnesota northwoods, and we had a parade. For two miles, from the fairgrounds and through the old downtown, floats and fire engines, vintage cars and civic groups walked and marched and danced and drove past sidewalks lined with old people in chairs and younger … Continue reading Ben Carried the Banner
Life With Ben
The 10%
You came home from work today, excited to tell me who was there and what you did. You dropped your backpack by the front door and gave me a long hug before washing your hands to eat and change for basketball practice. You are one of the 10%. 60% to 90%* of your peers are … Continue reading The 10%
Choices and Limitations
“He’s 3, with 32 years of experience” is how I describe my son Ben these days. Still stymied by tic-tac-toe and overjoyed by a jar of peanut butter, yet he's got over three decades of living under his belt. Last winter we took a long car ride, spent a night in a hotel and took … Continue reading Choices and Limitations
Celebrating the Twos
My son Ben played his heart out last weekend. He and his teammates went to our state’s Special Olympics floor hockey tournament and came home with bronze medals. (Lest you think they are amazing athletes, they won their medals from a group of four teams. Special Olympics forms divisions of four teams each, according to … Continue reading Celebrating the Twos
The Audacity of Disability
My son Ben holds tightly to the tissue-paper torch at his Special Olympics meet. He should be settled in a career by now, I think, raising a family and making his mark on the world. But instead he clutches this small honor like it is the real Olympic torch, eyes bright with the seriousness of … Continue reading The Audacity of Disability
The Assignment I Wasn’t Expecting
My son Ben leans up against me for his morning hug and kiss. He needs my affection, this simple morning routine, to start his day; to confirm the goodness of his existence and the security of my love. He is needy, always. Pleading for peanut butter. For a tattoo. For Christmas. Calling to me from … Continue reading The Assignment I Wasn’t Expecting
Hedgerows and Big Yellow Trucks
A hard rain was falling that afternoon, and I was eager to get home. After a long day of doctor appointments in the city for my son Ben, I loaded up the car with groceries and headed up the twisting road to our home in the mountains. Only a few miles up, however, a large … Continue reading Hedgerows and Big Yellow Trucks
Ribbon Collecting
My son Ben loves competing for Special Olympics, and has a giant collection of medals and ribbons from various meets and tournaments. He participates in eight different sports, and every competition finds him swaggering home with something shiny. The medals and ribbons hang proudly from his bulletin board, the overflow crumpled in his desk drawers. … Continue reading Ribbon Collecting
To Ben on World Down Syndrome Day
You came as a surprise; your life tenuous, your little body limp in my arms. We brought you home, numb and determined, the future unimagined. Your extended family welcomed you with a tenderness tempered by grief. Your church family, stunned, embraced you. You were changing us, even then. Making your mark on our world just … Continue reading To Ben on World Down Syndrome Day
Ben and the Carnival Fun House
My son Ben loves the county fair. We always start in the animal barns, where he clucks and moos his way down the aisles, the animals patiently letting him pat and talk to them. Then comes the midway, where he has uncanny luck at the games, always coming away with a prize. The rides, however, … Continue reading Ben and the Carnival Fun House
A View of the Lake 