My son Ben played his heart out last weekend. He and his teammates went to our state’s Special Olympics floor hockey tournament and came home with bronze medals. (Lest you think they are amazing athletes, they won their medals from a group of four teams. Special Olympics forms divisions of four teams each, according to … Continue reading Celebrating the Twos
Ben
The Audacity of Disability
My son Ben holds tightly to the tissue-paper torch at his Special Olympics meet. He should be settled in a career by now, I think, raising a family and making his mark on the world. But instead he clutches this small honor like it is the real Olympic torch, eyes bright with the seriousness of … Continue reading The Audacity of Disability
The Assignment I Wasn’t Expecting
My son Ben leans up against me for his morning hug and kiss. He needs my affection, this simple morning routine, to start his day; to confirm the goodness of his existence and the security of my love. He is needy, always. Pleading for peanut butter. For a tattoo. For Christmas. Calling to me from … Continue reading The Assignment I Wasn’t Expecting
Hedgerows and Big Yellow Trucks
A hard rain was falling that afternoon, and I was eager to get home. After a long day of doctor appointments in the city for my son Ben, I loaded up the car with groceries and headed up the twisting road to our home in the mountains. Only a few miles up, however, a large … Continue reading Hedgerows and Big Yellow Trucks
Ribbon Collecting
My son Ben loves competing for Special Olympics, and has a giant collection of medals and ribbons from various meets and tournaments. He participates in eight different sports, and every competition finds him swaggering home with something shiny. The medals and ribbons hang proudly from his bulletin board, the overflow crumpled in his desk drawers. … Continue reading Ribbon Collecting
Under the Tomatoes
My breath came hard as panic pressed on my chest. I stood in the produce section of the grocery store, scanning the aisles, desperate for a glimpse of my towheaded boy. Every parent has been in a similar situation, but most aren’t searching for a nonverbal child who can’t understand when the game has gone … Continue reading Under the Tomatoes
If Ben Had Been There
My son Ben has cognitive disabilities and very little language. But sometimes he intuitively understands what our “normal” intelligence blinds us to. Our Easter celebration last weekend got me thinking: If Ben had been at the tomb that first Easter morning, things might have gone down a little differently…. Early on the first day of … Continue reading If Ben Had Been There
To Ben on World Down Syndrome Day
You came as a surprise; your life tenuous, your little body limp in my arms. We brought you home, numb and determined, the future unimagined. Your extended family welcomed you with a tenderness tempered by grief. Your church family, stunned, embraced you. You were changing us, even then. Making your mark on our world just … Continue reading To Ben on World Down Syndrome Day
Ben and the Carnival Fun House
My son Ben loves the county fair. We always start in the animal barns, where he clucks and moos his way down the aisles, the animals patiently letting him pat and talk to them. Then comes the midway, where he has uncanny luck at the games, always coming away with a prize. The rides, however, … Continue reading Ben and the Carnival Fun House
How Heaven Changes Us
I’ve often pondered what Ben will be like in heaven. I used to think that he would still have Down Syndrome, since it comes knit into his every chromosome. But the longer we deal with not just the delights but also the deficits and struggles that Down Syndrome brings, the more I am convinced that … Continue reading How Heaven Changes Us