It’s been eight years now since we’ve taken a picture of the whole family.
Eight years since one daughter walked away from our family circle, taking our grandchildren with her.
The rest of us still gather every year, and at the end of our time together we take a group picture. But now, our pictures include one of us holding her portrait. We do this to remind her, as we remind ourselves, that she is not forgotten. So we gather on the front steps, I take her picture down from the living room wall, and one of us holds it. It is a silent declaration that she is still ours. That she still belongs.
Does she see the pictures I post online, holding her portrait? I don’t know. I suppose it’s like the letters I wrote to our children’s birthparents as they grew. Some received them with joy. Others, I never heard from. But I wrote them anyway.
I share this because I know that our situation is not unusual. Too many families have lost members not to death, but to abandonment. Not due to abuse or dispute, but to some unnamed darkness that has lured them away. If you are in one of those families…..I’m sorry.
But I urge you—keep holding their portrait. Let them see that you still wait, still hope, still pray for a time when they will return to the circle of family they left behind.
There is a God, after all, who holds our portrait. Who waited through rebellion and rejection for us to come to our senses. A Father who longed for us to examine the dry husks of our lives and remember a time of feasting in his house.
He held our portrait and He holds it still, if we are yet wandering in dark alleys of unbelief. He holds it as a reminder and an invitation to come home. Home, where we belong.
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:19-23
A View of the Lake 
This is a perfectly beautiful practice and one I will share with my family immediately as we have lost some to early deaths and another to a darkness (which we have also called it). Thank you for sharing it.
❤️Lisa
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Thank you Andrea for this . We have been going through very deep waters in our marriage and my husband wept when he read about leaving the corn husks and coming back to the Father. We so often forget that before the great is Thy faithfulness verse , there are 21 verses to slog through (often in pain, repentance and conviction) but what a glorious end awaits us in verses 22-27!! You are an encouragement with your many varied writings.
May the LORD continue to hold you up and close and give you joy in things big and especially the small.
Nancy
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I’m so sorry for your pain. I will pray for you both tonight.
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You my friend are a gifted writer! I read your words and can feel your heartache. One of the things I’ve always admired about you and Bill is that you are steadfast. No matter what difficulties life brought, you stood together trusting that God would sustain you. I hope Em sees the pictures…and I pray that the Lord softens her heart.
❤️Bon
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beautiful reflection ❤️. May the God of redemption and restoration bring beauty from the ashes for his glory and your beloved family.
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Thank you for these encouraging words and testimony of God’s sovereign grace in your family. You are also demonstrating to your other children that your love and care for them is not based on their works of faithfulness to the family, but based on the merits of Jesus Christ and His great love for His rebellious children. His work enables us to love and forgive as He has and does.
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I can appreciate the feelings that you shared about a daughter and grandchildren who are no longer physically present when the family gathers. Our two sons have gone through dark times spiritually and we now have six ‘daughters’ who are no longer part of the family because of divorce. I continue to pray for each of those ‘daughters’ and grandchildren who are no longer with us. Thankfully, God is using these hard times in one of our sons lives. We pray He will also bring beauty out of ashes in the life of our other son and draw him back into a strong relationship with God. Thanks for sharing your heart. God bless you and bring your daughter and grandkids into a close relationship with the Lord and all of your family.
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I’m so sorry to hear that you are walking this road. Many people don’t have anyone praying for them, and it is good that these daughters and grandchildren are included within the powerful circle of your prayers.
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